On hold

Assalaamu'alaikum..

Blog will be on hold for now due to the inescapable responsibility and commitment to studies, club activities/events, school's yearbook and mosque.

Till then,
Assalaamu'alaikum.

 

Syukur

Salam 'alaikum..

Masa berlalu begitu pantas. Pejam celik pejam celik, sudah hampir kita di penghujung tahun 2011. Tahun hadapan, lembaran baru aku dibuka. Tanggungjawab serta tekanan pasti akan menambah - hanya persoalannya berteras sama ada kita mampu menanganinya atau sebaliknya. Terdapat beberapa perkara yang ingin kukongsi bersama:-

1) Hari Nadi Furqan

2) Hari Perbayu

3) Keputusan Peperiksaan Akhir Tahun

4) BBQ/Perkhemahan 

1) Hari Nadi Furqan

Acara ini berlangsung selama tiga hari. Aku tabik kelab Nadi Furqan atas kemampuannya melancarkan acara ini. Walaupun terdapat beberapa kepincangan pada acara ini, namun aku tidaklah begitu menghiraukannya kerana aku tahu acara ini merupakan suatu acara yang boleh kukatakan agak mendadak. Tambahan pula dengan ahli exconya yang tidak begitu ramai.

Melalui acara ini, Alhamdulillah, aku telah pelajari banyak perkara. Walaupun terdapat beberapa perkara yang sudah kuketahui, namun apa salahnya jika ianya diulangi. Satu kisah yang menyentuh diriku adalah kisah di mana seorang wanita tua yang hanya menjawab dengan menggunakan ayat-ayat dari Al-Quran. Sungguh, MaasyaAllah. Sebagai contoh, tika ditanya oleh Abdullah bin Mubarak, "Bukankah diperbolehkan berbuka ketika musafir?" Wanita itu menjawab, "Dan berpuasa itu lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui (Al- Baqarah 184)."

Sungguh aku kagum dengan wanita itu.

Ya Allah, muliakanlah aku dengan faham dan hafalan, sehingga aku hafal setiap ilmu dan ayat yang aku dengar.

Ya Allah, muliakanlah aku dengan memiliki suara yang bagus, sehingga orang yang mendengar ayat-ayat daripadaku bertambah iman dalam hatinya, meskipun dia berhati keras.

Ya Tuhanku, muliakanlah aku dengan rezeki yang halal. Berilah aku rezeki dari sesuatu yang tidak kuduga. 

2) Hari Perbayu

Hari Perbayu ini berlangsung selama sehari saja. Alhamdulillah ia berjalan dengan lancarnya, walaupun terdapat beberapa masalah seperti masalah teknikal. Masalah sampah sarap pun, Alhamdulillah, dapat diatasi dengan baiknya.

Diacarakan oleh Khidir dari Pra-U 1 dan Munir dari Menengah 3, acara ini dimulakan dengan bacaan Al-Quran oleh Muhammad Nabil Johari dari Pra-U 1, diikuti dengan terjemahnya oleh Hidayat dari Menengah 1. Antara aktiviti yang telah dijalankan adalah seperti Permainan Balas Pantun. Formatnya tidaklah begitu formal. Cara permainannya sama lebih kurang seperti permainan Bomb. Semua kelab boleh kukatakan begitu bersemangat dalam permainan ini. Syukurku dihadapkan pada Yang Esa.

Selain itu, acara ini juga diserikan dengan peraduan-peraduan yang tidak kurang hebatnya, seperti Peraduan Spontan, Peraduan Timbang Bola Takraw bersamping, dan PERBAYU Ekspres. Sungguh, sebagai Presiden bagi kelab ini, aku amat terharu dengan sambutan yang begitu menggalakkan.

Di kesempatan ini, aku mewakili ahli-ahliku yang lain, ingin mengucapkan setinggi-tinggi terima kasih atas semua penyertaan kamu yang menghadiri; yang menjayakan acara ini. Sekali lagi, terima kasih. 

3) Keputusan Peperiksaan Akhir Tahun

Alhamdulillah, syukurku dihadapkan pada Yang Esa. Terus terang kukatakan aku amat terkejut melihat keputusanku. Dua hari sebelum hari mendapat keputusan itu, aku sampaikan menangis. Tidak terbayang aku apakah reaksi keluargaku jika aku benar-benar ditahan dari naik darjah. Berbagai-bagai gambaran negatif bermain di kotak mindaku. Manakan tidak, abang-abangku semuanya boleh kukatakan telah mencapai ke menara gading. Ada yang sehinggakan mendapat gred GPA sebanyak 3.8 lagi dalam kursus di Politekniknya.

Walau aku bersyukur kerana berjaya melangkah ke Pra-U2, namun aku tidaklah begitu berasa sedap hati atas keputusanku. Tidak kusangka terdapat beberapa guru yang meletakkan jangkaan agak tinggi padaku. Aku terkejut tatkala mereka mengutarakan perasaan mereka terhadap kertasku.

Ada yang mengatakan, “Nufail, you’ve got the language, but I just can’t understand what you’re trying to deliver this time.”

Ada pula, “For your case, it’s low, much lower than my expectations.”

Lebih kurang begitulah seingat aku. Bayangkan reaksi dan perasaan aku tika dan saat itu. Malu, kesal dan pelbagai lagi. Aku tak nafikan yang memang, aku tidak memberi 100% dalam ujian akhir ini. Ada kertas yang  aku sehinggakan belajar pada paginya tersebut lagi. Astaghfirullah. Pasti mereka akan merasa sedih dan kecewa  apabila melihat pengakuanku begini. Di kesempatan ini, aku ingin memohon maaf sekiranya aku ada menghampa atau mengecewakan mana-mana guruku. ‘Afwan ya Asaatizhatii. Sawfa ajtahidu ak-thar fil mustaqbal insyaAllah.

Seiring dengan topik, aku sedih melihat mereka yang tidak berjaya untuk melangkah ke Pra-U2. Aku tabik melihat kekuatan mereka dalam mengharungi dugaan ini. InsyaAllah mereka bakal kekal di Madrasah ini tahun hadapan. Selamat maju jaya ya !

4) BBQ/Perkhemahan

Perkhemahan ini berlangsung di Masjid Petempatan Melayu Sembawang. Sungguh ia merupakan suatu pengalaman yang berharga bagiku. Terasa benar ukhuwwah yang terjalin. Hanya satu masalah yang timbul pada perkhemahan ini - tanah yang lecak; berpunca dari hujan yang turun pada sebelah petang hari tersebut. Namun begitu, acara berbeku atau memanggang ayam, udang dan sebagainya tetap berjalan dengan lancarnya.

Satu pengalaman yang tak dapat kulupakan adalah saat di mana aku terlihat makhluk halus; walau mukanya tidak kelihatan. Ia berlaku dalam pukul 2 lebih pagi semasa kami sedang menjalani acara night walk.

Pada mulanya kami berjalan beramai-ramai. Tika ini, tiada apa-apa aneh yang berlaku. Namun saat ingin pulang ke Masjid, kami bercadang untuk berjalan berpasangan. Aku dipasangkan dengan Naufal; adik Nabil. Untuk ke Masjid, terdapat dua jalan – A dan B. Aku dan Naufal mengambil jalan A. Kumpulan kemudiannya memilih untuk mengambil jalan B, mengakibatkan aku dan Naufal hanya berdua di lorong A itu. Pada mulanya, memang tiada apa yang berlaku, kami hanya berbual sesama sendiri. Namun setelah beberapa minit, tiba-tiba Naufal berkata dengan nada terkejut, “Eh !” Apabila aku bertanya kenapa, dia hanya berdiam seketika dan terus menyarankan agar kami berjalan sahaja. Kami pun kemudiannya meneruskan perbualan.

Dalam lorong itu, terdapat satu bahagian di mana cahaya lampu tidak dapat menembusi belitan dahan yang melengkung.  Aku tidak berapa ingat adakah penampakan itu terlihat semasa kami melalui jalan itu atau adakah ianya terlihat setelah kami lalu bahagian itu. Apa yang kulihat adalah kain putih di hadapan sebatang pokok. Aku masih ingat lagi. Masa aku berbual dengan Naufal, tiba-tiba aku baca, “ Bismillahirrohmaanirrohim, A-‘uuzhubillahiminasy-syaitonirrojim.” Tubuhnya seakan-akan seorang yang gempal dan besar. Benar perasaan pada masa itu sungguh lain. Yang peliknya, aku tidaklah merasa sebarang perasaan takut, bahkan aku menoleh sehingga 3 kali untuk benar-benar memastikan apakah benar itu hanya kain putih atau sebaliknya.   

Setelah sampai di Masjid, aku pun menceritakanlah pengalaman aku itu dengan kawan-kawanku. Setelah beberapa minit, aku, Naufal, Hakim dan KZ bercadang untuk melihat sekali lagi lorong itu, untuk benar-benar memastikan sekali lagi apakah penampakan itu hanya berupa kain putih atau sebaliknya. Ternyata tiada sehelai kain putih pun di atas pokok yang kulihat itu.

Tatkala ingin pulang ke Masjid, kami dikejutkan oleh beberapa ekor anjing serta salakan mereka yang begitu garau tapi sedikit ganjil, membuat kami mengambil langkah seribu. Anehnya, keempat-empat kami berlari dalam kelajuan yang sama, tiada yang di belakang, tiada juga di hadapan; walau ada yang kakinya belum pulih dari kecederaan lalu dan yang matanya sedikit kabur pada waktu malam. Menakjub bukan? Kuasa Allah. Namun begitu, tiada seekor anjing pun kelihatan apabila kita menoleh ke belakang tatkala sudah penat berlari. Allahu A’lam.

                           

________________

Wah, rasanya sudah cukup panjang tulisanku kali ini.

Dari itu, 

Salam 'alaikum.

p/s: Di musim cuti ini, sementara yang lain keluar bekerja, aku di rumah. Apabila sekolah mula dibuka nanti, aku kembali bekerja.haha.. Semoga dapat kugunakan masa ini dengan perkara yang bermanfaat insyaAllah.

The intricate life; an uncertain spirit.

Assalamu'alaikum..

How time flies, it has been a year since i graduated from Irsyad. I still treasure the relationships i have during my times there. The teachers, cleaners, friends, mentees and so on are all still fresh in this head of mine. The new building however does not really have much significance in me as i merely spent a year plus in it. The old building on the other hand, the one that resides at the Winstedt Road; better known by the name Newton, had left indeed many memories. The classic look, besides being spooky enough, seriously is able to move anyone into tears.

Back to the topic. A friend. A close friend. A bestfriend. Just which is which. What i know is, i do have many friends, few close friends and an even fewer or probably just one bestfriend. Oftentimes i would ask myself, are they really befriending me for the sake of wanting me to be their mediator; as with regards to helping them wooing a certain girl, or are they really sincere in having this friendship. Sometimes i really wonder how in the world could my bestfriend be someone from other school. Even suprising, i have not even seen her face. It is great knowing her though. What i like about her is that, she has what is in me, not everything of course, but quite a few things. For example, we sometimes want a company, friends we can talk to or play with, but after a few hours or days, we started to feel uncomfortable and stuff. Indeed i can't deny the fact that we seem anti-social, but in actual fact, we are not likewise.

I dare say I am not looking down at anyone, neither am i a proud or a snobbish person. I may not talk to you not because I am arrogant but the reason being, simple – I know not what to talk about.  I can't deny the fact that i am an introvert to start with, but once you know me, once you talk to me, I am far from what you think of me, that is snobbish.

I had deactivated my Facebook account recently. Reason being simple, i want to concentrate on my studies, and I really mean it this time, insyaAllah. Though one may say i could activate it within just a click, but the thought of having zero Facebook-related emails really eases me. Alhamdulillah.

Oftentimes, people mistook my kindness for love. I don’t know, I have had quite a few girls who said they like(d) me. There was once when I was helping a female friend passing letters to my mate. After that mate of mine answered not a single letter from her, she felt her presence not welcomed. Unaware of her feelings, she started passing letters to me; meant for me. Indeed at some point of time I did feel since many of my friends have girlfriends, why shouldn’t I? Alhamdulillah though, my conscience didn’t get the better of me. I managed to reject her, though there may be some problems in between it. 

There is indeed truth in the saying, " Jack of all trades, a master to none. "

It is not easy being an average person, who had scored, at least once, an A for each and every subject he has took before, who had once became one of the top 3 in the class, who had never got or been kicked out from being one of the top 10 in class since Secondary 1 to 5.

You're good at hosting an event, you're good at designing. Yet you can't seem to choose which of those you are really interested in or you're really good at. You like debates, you like Malay, Arabic and English. Simply because you have ever got an A1 for the subjects. You've got a brother who is at the current moment, studying at a University in Madinah, Saudi Arabia, and you can't easily escape from the thoughts and minds of everyone thinking that you yourself is just as good as your brother. Good at studies, especially in the theological sides, as well as in the sporting arena - Soccer, Athletics etc.

Now you get A1. The next moment, B4, C6 or worse D7 or F9. That's exactly me. Inconsistency, lack of self-esteem, or bemused?

The moment people starting to label you as a smart guy, though you yourself deny it, challenges, high expectations will begin to 'haunt' you. Sometimes you don't even know if you're really as smart or as good as what people classified you to be. Sometimes you didn't even realise that you're actually paying too much of your sedulous attention to it. Or that you're trying your best to give them a taste of your quality. Some people would treat it as a blessing upon looking at or talking to you. The happiness that radiates, though at times was a fictitious one, seems to be a delight for them to watch. At a point of time, you would ask yourself, " Are you really doing all this for the sake of your ownself or the others' instead? "

 (Excerpts from the Uncertainty post dated March 17 2011)

With that, i shall close my post. Do pray for my success. 

Assalaamu'alaikum.

Hikmah yang dinanti

Assalaamu'alaikum..

Masa berlalu begitu pantas. Seiring dengan itu, pengalaman demi pengalaman kurasai. Aku bersyukur dengan keputusanku untuk melanjutkan pelajaran di Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah. Alhamdulillah, mereka-mereka yang pada mulanya aku rasa mustahil untuk aku berkawan dengan, sudah pun boleh diajak berbual. Semoga talian ukhuwah sesama kami berterusan hingga ke akhir hayat, insyaAllah. Terdapat beberapa perkara yang ingin kusentuh. Rasa-rasa akan agak panjang tulisanku kali ini.

• Dilema Presiden
• Ramadhan
• Pementasan Bujur Lalu Melintang Patah
• Kelemahan diri   

Semasa namaku dipanggil untuk ke pentas bagi mengambil alih jawatan Presiden bagi kelab Bahasa Melayu MWTI (PERBAYU), aku sudah menjangkakan pelbagai perkara. Nyata-nyata benar apa yang suara hatiku berkata. Hal mereka yang tidak puas hati, alhamdulillah sudah dapat dileraikan. Namun bagi perlaksaan tanggungjawab yang menepati keinginan ramai, masih belum terhurai.

Ramai, hatta bekas Presiden bagi kelab Perbayu telah mendekatiku dan meluahkan hasrat mereka agar kelab ini dapat 'dihidupkan' kembali seperti masa kegemilangannya suatu masa dahulu. Bukan niatku untuk menghampakan harapan mereka. Namun, seperti biasa, cabaran sering datang menduga. Buat masa ini, 2 acara yang sudah aku, naibku serta badan eksekutifku rancang, dibatalkan, atas sebab-sebab tertentu. Mudah-mudahan menjelang pertengahan atau lewat September, lerai sudahlah masalah ini. Amin.

Selanjutnya, Ramadhan. Pejam celik, pejam celik, sudah sampai pun masa yang dinanti-nantikan ramai, Bulan Ramadhan. Terkenang aku zaman tika ku berada di Bangunan Irsyad yang lama; dimana aku diarahkan sekolah untuk membuat Poster untuk ditampalkan di merata sekolah. Sungguh, pengalaman yang tak dapat kulupakan.

Sepanjang hidupku berpuasa, terutama di masa Menengah, aku pasti puasaku itu tidaklah sesempurna yang kuingini, atau lebih teruk, yang Allah ingini. Justeru, aku telah bertekad untuk merebut segala peluang yang ada pada Ramadhan tahun ini untuk beribadah selain berniat dapat mengembalikan zaman kegemilanganku, insyaAllah. Amin.

Selanjutnya Pementasan Sastera bagi Drama Bujur Lalu Melintang Patah; yang ditonton oleh pelajar-pelajar MWTI daripada Pra-U 1&2, termasuk sesetengah pelajar dari Madrasah Al-Ma'aarif Al-Islamiah.

Terus terang kukatakan, aku berasa bangga dengan kebolehan mereka menjiwai watak-watak yang diberikan serta menghafal skrip-skrip dengan penuh baik. Manakan tidak, perombakan beberapa kali berlaku pada saat-saat akhir, namun mereka berjaya juga tempuh segala ujian itu. Alhamdulillah. Syabas !

Terakhir, kelemahan yang ada pada diriku ini. Aku tidak bisa untuk mengatakan "Tidak" apabila orang meminta tolong padaku, walaupun kekadang aku tahu yang aku tidak mampu untuk melakukannya. Tatkala diminta, secara automatik akan otak aku katakan, "Tiada yang mustahil."

Selain itu, satu kelemahan yang sudah lama aku tahu ada pada diriku adalah sifat ketidaktetapan yang ada pada hati atau keinginanku; atau dalam istilah inggerisnya, fickle-minded. Kadang aku tak pasti pun sama ada keinginanku(untuk melanjutkan pelajaran) dalam suatu bidang itu adalah berteraskan saranan orang atau diriku sendiri. Apa aku buat untuk mereka, atau untuk diri aku?

Bersempena bulan yang penuh barakah ini, aku ingin meminta maaf kepada sesiapa saja baik yang kukenal mahupun yang tidak begitu kukenal. Terkadang aku tidak tahu pun mengapa aku berbuat begitu. Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosaku, permudahkanlah segala urusanku.

Aku rasa sudah cukup panjang tulisanku ini.
Dari itu,
Assalaamu'alaikum.

Putting an end to it..

Assalaamu'alaikum..

Last Friday(220711), the school was having an investiture for the post President(s), Asst. President(s), Head Prefect and Asst. Head Prefect.

Alhamdulillah i was chosen to be the President for the Malay Club of MWTI that is, Perbayu. Ain Fitrah on the other hand becomes my assistant. That was the good news. However, as i was walking to the stage to receive the title, i was struck by many thoughts and questions, answering to why i didn't really smile up there. Can I really lead this club? Can they really accept me? Sadly, I have some problems with some of my exco-members now. Two of them already quit and has gone to Nadi Furqan, but i seriously need them in my club. They are one of the legends in Perbayu. Hopefully their decision to quit will not be accepted by the Student council that is, ITMAWAT.

O Allah, ease my undertakings.

Next up, the YODA debate. We lost, but it doesn't matter as long as we had the fun and experience..:)) Best speaker for our match was Khairul Zaman or KZ, our very own Zakir Naik.  

 *Khairul Zaman, or better known as KZ, 

won the best speaker for the 2nd match from 

the preliminary round (against Al-Mukminin Mosque).

Marha-marha. U deserve it dude..:)) However, it was really embarrassing for me at the Rebuttal Arena where anyone can get the mic and speak as with regards to proposing or opposing the motion. Seriously, that wasn't me! How i wish i could delete that part in your brain. Duh.I've been controlling it, and suddenly it burst out. Again i repeat. that wasn't my real self. 

With that, I have decided to not enter or get involved in anymore debates. 

It's time to put and end to it.
It's time to concentrate on the studies.
It's time to buck up.

I have to retrieve my prime days back !
I know I can! InsyaAllah Amin.

Till then,
Assalaamu'alaikum.

Aku bukan malaikat.

Assalaamu'alaikum..

Rasanya sudah agak lama aku tidak menulis di Blog ini. Terdapat beberapa perkara yang ingin kukongsi bersama:-

• Aku bukan malaikat
• Language Race
• Bahas 4PM
• Hari Sukan

Kadang, entah mengapa, aku benar-benar merasa yang diriku ini sombong. Manakan tidak, tatkala berjumpa dengan beberapa kenalan di luar sana, dengan secara tiba-tiba kadang-kadang aku bersikap endah tak endah. Kadang lebih teruk lagi, apabila dia memberi salam, aku setakat senyum 'paksa' dan terus jalan. Bayangkan! Sejurus setelah berapa saat, aku bertanya pada diriku akan mengapa aku berbuat demikian. Mengapa tidak aku berbual sebentar, berjenaka sekejap, ya maksud aku, berbual seperti seorang kawan dengan kawannya. Kini baru aku sedar mengapa sesetengah orang mendakwa aku sombong. Namun aku pasti suatu hari nanti, dengan izin Allah, akan aku berubah dengan sepenuhnya. Amin InsyaAllah.

Mutakhir ini, aku telah dikejutkan dengan pelbagai dugaan. Tahun ini merupakan tahun pertama aku dikejutkan dengan, bukan satu atau dua, tapi empat kegagalan dalam matapelajaran A level. Belum termasuk Bahasa Arab, mudah-mudahan aku lulus. Dua daripada itu nyaris-nyaris aku lulus, sementara lagi dua, hancur bin rabak keputusannya. Namun aku yakin di sebalik setiap dugaan yang menimpa, pasti akan ada hikmah yang tersemat. InsyaAllah Amin !

Seterusnya, Language Race. Alhamdulillah, kumpulanku telah memenangi tempat pertama. Ia benar-benar merupakan satu pengalaman yang tidak dapat dilupakan.

*Dari kanan, Fadhil, Bukhari, Saddam, Sir Haidad, 

Luqman(Presiden Kelab SEA), Siraaj, aku dan Hadi.

Sungguh penat. Satu pengalaman yang tidak dapat kulupakan adalah saat kami terpaksa berjalan dari daerah Sungai Singapura ke Marina Bay Sands! Di bawah pancaran terik sang suria lagi. Sungguh kurang asam ya Kelab SEA. haha..

Selanjutnya Bahas 4PM. Tahniah kuucapkan kepada para pembahas Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah serta Institut Millenia. Juara mahupun Naib Juara, kededuanya sudah pun mempunyai perkataan Juara dalamnya..:)) Tahun depan bagaimana ya? Semoga MWTI terus maju, bak slogan yang digunakan mereka dalam video Bahas 4PM, Maju terus Maju !

Akhir sekali, Acara Sukan MWTI 2011. Pada mulanya, aku tidak terfikir pun hendak memasuki acara Sukan ini. Ada pun mungkin hanya secebis saja. Namun disebabkan Zulzawaid yang tika itu sedang berada di Dubai, aku terpaksa menggantikannya. Kumpulanku pada hari sebelumnya terdiri daripada Khairul Zaman(KZ), Khalil, Aidil dan aku. Namun pada hari tersebut, Hariz menggantikan Aidil atas sebab-sebab tertentu. Aku hanya memasuki satu acara sahaja, dan ia adalah 100x4 relay. Alhamdulillah, kumpulanku telah memenagi pingat Perak(Silver) dalam acara itu. Sekali lagi, Alhamdulillah.

*Dari kanan, Hariz, KZ, aku dan Khalil.

Dari itu, sekian saja daripada aku,
Nufail Rahman.

Assalaamualaikum.
ps: Pada mereka yang telah ditarik balik kemenangan, mungkin bukan rezeki kamu kali ini. Percayalah, peluang akan sentiasa ada. Seperti aku yang telah ditarik balik kemenangan 2 tahun lepas; dalam acara dan 'kemenangan' yang sama, Alhamdulillah pada tahun ini aku telah dapat mengambil kembali takhta Perak yang telah ditarik balik 2 tahun lalu itu.

Self-examination

Assalaamu'alaikum.

How time flies. It’s been nearly 4 months since I stepped my foot in Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah. Before I start, I would like to agree or highlight on one point, Modesty indeed, is the best virtue. Be humble; never be too confident.

Studied till late at night, exiting the LT(Lecture Theatre) yet with a balked face. It's a common thing though, way back in my previous school, but do i really have to repeat myself here in the new school? Do i really have to make history; as with regards to the O level, repeat itself? I've chosen this path, i should do my utter best. Forget about Poly. Keep the enrolment letter deep, deep down on the shelves or drawer; to the last piece amongst the stacks of books, papers and/or files.

Upon looking at those smart alecs, such as Zulzawaid, Nabil, Hakim, KZ, Siraaj, Nasir, Syafiq, Hariz and many more walking out of the LT, with their so-called stressed face, i know that they would do well, no doubt.

To think of it, I finally think that the most, core problem of this is that i do not have anything in mind to become in future. Not that i have none, but it's just that they are all in an unorganised, perplexed manner. A preacher, a lawyer, a Malay teacher, a lecturer, a Hadith scholar, a businessman, a designer. Oh just which is which. Sometimes, unlike many others, i would love to have someone to control my life, with regards to my future.

I shall now lay out my reasons for having all those ambitions.

A PREACHER

Oh this was my first ambition! Way back in my old days. This one lasted until Primary 6 if I’m not mistaken. What’s more, I still remember having Arabic, Nahu, Tarbiyyah and those theological subjects as my forte. I was even planning to go to Ummul Qura at Mecca. That was then however.

A LAWYER

Started since I was at Sec 2, late 2007 if I’m not mistaken. It was during this time that I lost my conscience. I was so looking forward into having a career which promises huge, big bucks. Within split seconds, all my passion towards Arabic were gone, just like that.

A MALAY TEACHER

After facing a sudden shock in my results at Secondary 3, I began to introspect myself. Where am I heading and stuff like that. I was getting a 5^th place in my class at Secondary 2. However, it dropped to the 9^th place at Secondary 3. Our form teacher was reading out the top 10s and one friend of mine, Nash, was waiting for my name to be announced. I can still remember his face when my name was being called up for the 9^th place, and he was like, “ Nufail, what happened?” I was of course, startled and remained quite besides giving merely a smile.

It was during that year, late 2008 that I, after much thought, seeked to Malay Language as a substitute for my crashed Arabic Language. I was so desperate I didn’t even know if I was making the right decision. But Alhamdulillah still, after giving my all out in the subject, I ever got highest in class, in the cohort even. Having attained that kind of achievement, I began to think of the possibilities of me being a Malay Teacher. What’s more, a Mother Tongue Teacher is indeed in demand. It was fantastic to me, well at least at that point of time.

A LECTURER

This was quite funny to me. I didn’t even think of becoming this one actually. It was my friends’ suggestion.

A HADITH SCHOLAR

I don’t know. For some reason, this ambition of mine came during my this time, at Pre-U level. I was so frustrated at seeing those FAKE hadiths being used by some people, even by some Islamic well-known scholars. I was seriously infuriated at the fact that some people are still using it to protect or defend their religious practices which actually have no examples from the prophet or even his companions. What’s more, there are some other sects out there, happily using this hadiths to protect their teachings. To conclude, they are preparing themselves for the Fire. May they receive His guidance.

A BUSINESSMAN

I am not referring this to those at the offices, doing paper works, proposals and things like that. Instead what I meant here was simply a businessman which handles or owns a dessert restaurant. This is quite impossible though, I think.

A DESIGNER

Sometimes it’s really hard to gauge my skills in this arena or field. I don’t deny the fact that I have ever won a Third Prize National T-shirt Design Competition in 2008, but what really matters to me is that, am I really that good, or did I just won it coincidentally? I mean, that was my first time. How in the world could I have scored in it? Duh.

Essay competition I’ve ever won, poem-writing also a yes, designing stuff also concluded. Am I really that multi-talented? I don’t think so. Seriously. I can’t stop asking myself, was my winning really because of my talent of was it just a mere coincident; that is by luck?

Sometimes, I really wish to live in a Pokemon world, where my life revolves around it. To train my Pokemons, fight trainers, become the champion and continue the adventure. Wow I would say.

 At one point of time, I would very much like to be in a university, feeling the intense of getting a degree. Well I’ve heard many people say, “It’s just a few years. The aftermath will eventually lighten you up.”

That’s what they say which somehow motivates me into dreaming of going or entering the University.

As for the moment, i'm still uncertain over which university to further to after my A levels. University of Malaya(UM) or Islamic University of Madinah(IUM). If i proceed with UM, for sure i'll take Academy of Malay Studies, but if my choice were to be set at IUM, Darul Hadith it'll be, insyaAllah. O Allah, ease my endeavours.

Next up, Bahas 4PM. At first i was like, disheartened at the fact that i'm not chosen to represent the school for the competition and that I’ve made my stand to not to try again next year. However, upon much consideration, i've decided to make my dreams of entering the Bahas 4PM come true. I'll try my utter best next year. All out. Long live Madrasah, Long live MWTI !

After much introspection, I still can’t decide. I am still uncertain. Am I a hands-on person in the sense where I prefer practical doings than theoretical or am I really the theoretical sort? One moment I like being in front, in the sense where I like my voices to be heard, I like to be in debates, involved in public speaking and stuff like that, but at other instance, I would prefer something that requires not the mouth but the hands which equals to being practical such as designing, carry items, heavy stuffs and all.

Speaking of carrying stuff, I’ve been asking myself lately of the reason behind my lifting of dumbbells, jogging round the stadium and such. There is probably one thing on my mind, to keep myself fit with accordance to my diet; in the sense where I want myself to be able to eat more than my usual daily diet. Well you know, one that exercises will naturally eat more than those who doesn't. I am underweight for years. Yup, till now, and I know it’s not healthy to have a weight which is less than or equal to 50 kilo; with a height of more or less 165cm. 

Wow, I think this has got to be my longest post so far. I shall not continue any further.

Till then, 

Assalaamu'alaikum.